


Tattered Notes

by ultshseok



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 30 Day Haikyuu!! Writing Challenge, Angst, Death, Haikyuu Week, M/M, Self-Harm, daisuga - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:57:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7674529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultshseok/pseuds/ultshseok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi leaves practice in hopes to visit his beloved boyfriend, Suga in the hospital. But when preparing to leave, he is faced with the heart-wrenching news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tattered Notes

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! So this is a short one, only because I personally like these a lot when it comes to reading fics for hours. This one does have some triggers so please be careful if you're sensitive to those things. Do you guys like longer or shorter fics? Let me know!

I made my way down the sidewalk, skipping just a couple steps quicker than Asahi and Nishinoya. 

“Daichi, is everything alright? You seem anxious.” Asahi called in worried. I stopped, yet the two continued walking straight past me. I stood dead in my tracks, my mind wondering off as thoughts of the recent events flooding my mind. 2 weeks ago, it was of Sugawara not saying a word to anyone, not even his boyfriend of 2 years. Then, a week ago, it was of him not even wanting to move from out of bed after taking more pills than prescribed to supposedly make himself “more sleepy than usual so he’d have an excuse”. And 5 days ago, pulling him into a hug as he flinches back, pulling both of his arms to his stomach.

“Suga, come here,” I say more sternly than intended. “N-no. You’ll want to leave me for sure, I know it.” He whimpered, the long black jacket sleeves covering his arms in the beating heat of summer. “I will not, now come here. I want to make sure you’re okay babe. You now that I care for you no matter what.” He looks from down at his hands to up and me and standing up, slowly inching closer to me. I step so that I’m right in front of him, pulling one of his arms in my hand and carefully sliding the sleeve up to show a scar littered arm. 

I glance up to him, his head hung low and eyes tightly clenched. I pull his arm up to my lips, trailing soft kisses down his scars, hoping to at least calm him down a bit. 

It’s been a while since I’ve had to help Suga out with his self-harming, so everything I had remembered on what to do went over my head as soon as he promised me it was a one-time thing.

“Daichi… DAICHI!” I heard Noya’s obnoxious voice scream from the end of the sidewalk. I jump from being pulled from my thoughts so suddenly, making a sense of worry wash over me. This is why Suga is in the hospital because I wasn’t there when Suga was hurting. This is my fault, all because I put volleyball, final exams, and looking for universities before my depressed and broken boyfriend. 

“Yeah?” I finally call back. 

“Is everything alright, Daichi-san? You seem a bit off today.” Asahi says and I nod quickly. “I-I’m fine. Just excited to see Suga is all.” I explain and begin walking down the hill to catch up to the quick walking couple. “There goes Karasuno’s parents again. Can’t be away for even a full school day without zoning out from thinking of them,” Asahi jokes and I smack his arm, harder than intending. He flinches and draws his arm back, covering where I hit him with his left hand. 

“Shut up dumbass. Let’s just hurry up and get to my place so we can leave to go see him.” I demand and they both perk up, nodding frantically. Damn, even away from practices, I’m intimidating. 

A giggle slips from my lips as I begin walking, taking the lead once more. “You guys complain at me for being too slow.” I laugh and quickly take a glance back, turning back so that I knew where I was going. 

As we walked for what felt like hours, the short, 20-minute agonizing walk was over and I was back in the comfort of my own home. “I’m home. Asahi and Nishinoya are coming to the hospital with me,” I call from the doorway and slip off my shoes and throw down my bag. My mom makes her way to the front room, an apron hung around her neck with flour covering the front as if it was intentional. 

“How was school today?” She asked with a smile on her face. Her long brown hair covers her shoulders, her dark brown eyes shining. “It was school,” I say flatly and turn around, making my way into my room.

With a smile wiped across my face, I walk over to my closet, pulling out my white shirt and my simple ripped light washed jeans. I toss the outfit onto my bed, peeking my head out of the door to see what the two were doing or how badly they were bothering my mom. I was pleased when I witnessed the two sat quietly on the couch, only responding with simple and might I say, punctual answers to my mother as she asked them about how they knew me and basic stuff about karasuno and volleyball. For the first time meeting my mother, they were behaving surprisingly well, unlike practices. 

I close the door before either could notice that I was eavesdropping. I turn back around and pull off my shirt, tossing it into my dirty clothes basket and grabbing the white shirt. 

I see something fall onto the floor and I'm confused, yet bend down to grab it. It was a letter, my name neatly written on the front of it. I run my finger under the seal of the envelope, popping it opened carefully, pulled the piece of paper out that was inside of it. 

I unfold the note, my name once again is written on the top of it. I could clearly make out Suga’s handwriting as I take a seat on my bed, pushing my jeans out of the way as I bent down on my elbows to read the note.

‘Daichi,  
This is merely impossible for me to write but I would rather me tell you this way rather than you finding out any other way. You’ve known about my conditions. my anxiety, my severe depression, my constant state of not being good enough to have you, to have friends, to even have a life. And all of the twisted thoughts that have been running through my mind for years has now caught up to me. I have had the most wonderful, caring, and outgoing boyfriend for the past 2 years but I need to let go and so goodbye. I had a good 18 years and I really hope you don’t miss me too much, and please don’t grieve over me for too long. I want you to find someone who isn’t as twisted as me. I hope you explain this all to the team because I clearly didn’t have the balls to. I wish, oh goddamn, how I wish that I could have held you for one last time and felt your embrace, and your kiss, you running your fingers through my hair… all one last time, because that’s what made life worth it. I had enough of all these dirty little tricks that were thrown at me. And I hope that this is the last of my suffering unless God decides to play a dirty trick on me and give me a new life. Suffering was too much for me this bare, and this is my only way to no longer have to. I love you, be good.  
Suga.'

My heart dropped and I jumped for my phone, quickly going to my favourites, clicking Suga’s contact straight away. “Please, Suga, just please be okay.” The phone began dialing and the was a ring…and another…and the ringing suddenly stop. 

“Suga,”


End file.
